OK, so I've got no low beams, but high beams work fine. Since both left and right are on separate fuses and relays, I rule that out immediately, and dive right into taking the steering column apart, and remove the turn signal/hi/low beam stalk.
I'm pleasantly surprised to find it easy to remove, disassemble, clean and reassemble, all the while proud of how easily I've solved the problem and saved the family boodles of money.
Nope, still no low beams. Take the lower dash apart and examine all the connectors and find nothing out of the ordinary.
Resolve to step back and check the fuses and relays, and they too are just fine.
With visions of huge dealership fees swirling in my head I do the last thing I can think of: pull the bulbs.
*$&^!!!!! It was such a small break in both bulb filaments (the dreaded Sylvania Silverstars!), I needed a magnifying glass to confirm it, but damned if BOTH bulbs weren't burned out. Boy, do I feel stoopid....
>>> To save the next poor fool from my folly, might I nominate this post for sticky-dom? <<<