I can't blame you for the transmission fear after reading this site. I will say our experience with our 04 Ody has been great. The only issue we've had is the remote audio controls not working correctly. Honda issued a TSB about the grounding problem that causes it, but my wife didn't mention it to me in time to have it fixed by Honda.
I embarrassed to admit I hadn't done any trans maintenenace to our Ody for 80K miles. It shifted fine, but I thought I'd better do some work to keep it that way. The fluid was almost black, and the drain plug had plently of crud on it when I recently changed the filter and fluid. I added a Magnefine filter and Tru-Cool 4543 cooler while I was at it. There's lots of great information on this site, as I'm sure you know. If you find a good used 2nd gen Ody, I wouldn't be scared to buy it personally, based our our experience with ours. Good Luck!