pricing, dealer options, and trade vs on lot

I've been looking for a 2011 Odyssey and collected dealer quotes.

I played the "can you match this price?" game. One guy just told me he'd match it, which would be nice because he's somewhat closer. But he added that the final price would depend on what dealer-installed options are on the car, and kind of implied that if they didn't have the car with the color I wanted on their lot and they had to do a trade, the final price would have to include the options installed.

I searched before posting, and it sounds like most people here think that you should never accept a dealer-installed option you don't want. Do folks still think that's true if the dealer has to trade to get the car?

He claimed the same thing is true of the bid I asked him to match. The bid says "Prices for dealer installed accessories are not included in this price unless otherwise noted," which to me says nothing about being forced to take the car with certain options. The only evidence in favor of that would be that that dealership lists two cars with exactly the same specs at slightly different prices.